


While It Lasts

by NoBrandHero



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Bittersweet, Friendship, Gen, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 06:43:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13025436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoBrandHero/pseuds/NoBrandHero
Summary: Outdated instant messaging software doesn't stay online forever. Saying good-bye to Pesterchum is hard and only fellow long-time users understand.





	While It Lasts

ADMIN: We regret to announce that after twenty years of serving our wonderful chums, Pesterchum will be shutting down on December 15th. You won't be able to login and all user data will be deleted, so please backup your logs before December 15th. Thank you for your support these past two decades. Love, Pesterchum Team

* * *

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

EB: oh, this is BULLSHIT!  
EB: haven't you killed my childhood enough, 2017?? what's next? is the news gonna leak that optimus prime has been stealing money from orphanages???  
TT: I saw the discontinuation notification when I signed in too.  
TT: I'd be sadder if it took me by surprise, but I figured it was only a matter of time before they pulled the plug on our traditional form of communication. No one uses Pesterchum anymore.  
EB: we use it!  
TT: Well, I'm no expert on computer business, so you may want to confirm this with Jade, but I have a nagging suspicion that four people might not bring in enough support to pay the bills on servers, domain name, programmers, QA, and customer service for an outdated instant messaging software.  
TT: And three of us use Adblock.  
EB: hey, jade turns it off for websites she likes!  
TT: I'm just saying this was inevitable. We're lucky Pesterchum lasted as long as it did, given that the rest of the Internet had already moved on to MySpace by the time we were thirteen.  
EB: the rest of the internet is stupid and dumb.  
EB: pesterchum is awesome! do you know how many times i've typed an emoticon and accidentally sent an auto-emoji on here, rose? never. because pesterchum understands, rose.  
EB: it understands i don't want a fucking emoji.  
TT: I'll miss the bare bones nature of Pesterchum, it's true.  
TT: Not that I'm prone to emoticons.  
EB: you have totally used emoticons.  
TT: No, I don't think I have.  
EB: you soooo have. you sent me a smiley face at least once!  
EB: and now it's going to change from :) into a weird yellow cartoon face that probably makes a completely different expression than the casual smile you were aiming for.  
TT: I see you have strong feelings about emoticons.  
EB: they are my childhood, rose! just like pesterchum! we invented so many cool emoticons! and then the japanese invented a bunch of even better ones!  
EB: now kids on the internet just pick from a selection of creepy cartoons like lazy assholes.  
TT: We don't qualify as kids?  
EB: i'm twenty-one! i have a career! it is my new adult privilege that i get to complain about the kids these days!  
TT: Well, I guess my undergrad ass has just been schooled by the most reverent of all adults: a part-time piano teacher.  
EB: excuse you, i also play for my dad's church!  
TT: Shudder. Your talent is fucking wasted.  
EB: yeah, the music is pretty boring and i just zone out for the service, but it's fifty bucks a week, so...  
EB: i guess i should have gone into programming. maybe i could've worked for pesterchum so they didn't abandon us like assholes.  
TT: You're probably more suited to the life of "starving-but-for-the-grace-of-a-rich-parent artist" anyway.  
TT: We'll just have to suck it up and find a new way to bother each other on a daily basis since you don't have the skills to pull Pesterchum out from the jaws of death.  
TT: I hear cell phones are all the rage these days.  
EB: you hate when i call you. :P  
TT: Well, at least text first. Phone calls are just a step short of showing up at someone's house unannounced.  
EB: my dad calls people all the time.  
TT: That's why he's not my friend.  
TT: Anyway, I have class in three minutes and Pesterchum still has a good month of life in it, so we'll discuss how to handle this tragedy later.  
TT: Wish me luck on today's quiz.  
EB: luck!

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] \--

* * *

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

GG: hey have you saved all our old rp logs yet? just curious! i know there is no rush yet  
TG: yeah im not doing that in a rush or otherwise  
GG: oh... i was just going to ask if you wanted me to send you a zip file because i already downloaded them  
GG: you dont care at all? they were going to disappear forever if one of us didnt save them to the hard drive :\  
TG: i mean whatever you can send them over if youve already gone to the trouble of zipping them  
TG: theyll be fun for posterity  
TG: let future historians try to parse our weird furry adventures instead of letting them disappear into the internets void  
TG: but you know i just did that for shits and giggles right  
GG: yeah i know but they were still fun! <3  
GG: and i appreciated that you roleplayed with me even though its technically not cool  
TG: hey you send me rad bass tracks for my mixes i gotta pay you back in creative energy somehow  
GG: are you suuuuure you didnt have a little fun?  
TG: sometimes it gave me ideas for a new sbahj comic  
TG: that was pretty cool  
TG: and i wasnt going to say no to spending time with a chill gal like you  
GG: well i had fun too ;)  
GG: maybe we should dust off some of our characters one last time for old times sake  
TG: lmao yeah maybe  
GG: its not like we cant rp somewhere else but i liked the formatting here  
GG: rps on discord feel kind of weird o__o  
TG: is that where were officially migrating  
GG: i dunno yet but thats my vote  
GG: it is not perfect but im just not sure we are going to find a better im service  
GG: im ok staying on pesterchum until its officially offline though! we should all get in a few more chats with each other while we still can!  
GG: err...  
GG: if thats feasible for all of us i mean...  
TG: yeah rose still has me blocked if thats what youre getting at  
TG: that broad could hold a grudge until the heat death of the universe  
GG: i mean... you really shouldnt have voted for owen wilson as a write-in last year..... :\  
TG: ok first of all i vote in texas and we were going red regardless of me  
TG: but also yall spent six months gushing that president flatulence had the same odds of winning as a turds chance of doing ballet  
TG: maybe i didnt realize shit was too dire for a joke  
GG: i thiiink maybe rose just got tired of your casually offensive shtick and your dumb vote was the straw that broke the camels back  
TG: yeah i guess my shits not that funny even on an ironic level lately  
TG: gdi ill just send an apology via snailmail but dont get your hopes up that she welcomes me back with open arms  
GG: i understand!  
GG: if she needs her space that is more important than getting the gang back before pesterchum goes offline :(  
TG: yknow what fuck it im gonna run to the store and grab her some fucking cookies  
TG: if im gonna mail her an apology i might as well go all out and give her something worth her time regardless of whether she forgives me  
TG: bbl ill rp with you later tonight if youre still online  
GG: ok! :) good luck!!!

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] \--

* * *

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] \--

GG: sooo any decisions on which chat software you want to move to?  
EB: bluhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...  
GG: i am guessing thats a no  
GG: well... we still have a couple weeks to decide! no big deal :)  
GG: hmmmm  
GG: we all have facebook already but im really not a fan of their messaging service honestly  
GG: it is a bit too clunky and user-unfriendly on a pc  
GG: skype is probably the obvious grownup solution!  
EB: skype sucks.  
EB: it's all big and clunky and stupid.  
EB: jade, can't you just hack pesterchum's code and remake it?  
GG: i guess technically i could build a copycat? but that sounds like way more trouble than it is worth :\  
GG: i have a lot on my plate right now  
EB: yeah, yeah, you have a boooooyfriend now, i knoooow.  
GG: and grad schools to apply to and homework in the meantime plus i am taking that robotics internship next semester!  
GG: so rebuilding a chat program and maintaining its server sounds like a little much when there are already ok substitutes out there  
GG: we could move to discord! i use that with my gaming buddies and its been pretty nice :)  
EB: bluh, bluh, bluh, discord is for dumb goths who think white text on black boxes is soooo cool.  
GG: i... dont think ive met any goths on discord  
EB: they're on there, jade!!  
GG: oookay  
GG: well, i like discord either way  
GG: i miss my pretty font color, but we can all keep our usernames the same  
GG: and we can make group chats!  
GG: we will give dave his own channel for when he has the urge to text us thirty metaphors in a row and we need to mute him, heheh ;)  
EB: i guess that sounds pretty handy.  
EB: i GUESS.  
GG: we dont have to decide right now though  
GG: maybe you could google around and see if there are alternatives closer to pesterchums features? you have the most free time and you seem the most invested in this decision, so its probably best if its your call!  
GG: im not picky about what you guys choose :) so long as the user interface works and i can talk to my friends, ill be happy  
EB: jeeeeez, jade, you could at least PRETEND to be sad that our childhood is dying.  
GG: i am very sad to lose pesterchum! :(  
GG: but being sad doesnt help us migrate to a new chat service, you know?  
GG: so im just trying to be helpful for now  
EB: okay, sorry, i didn't mean to sound accusatory.  
EB: it just feels like i'm the only one taking this seriously sometimes.  
GG: the rest of us are probably just mourning differently thats all  
GG: we are all going to miss this  
EB: yeah...  
EB: i have to set up for a student, but i'll be back in half an hour, okay?  
GG: no prob :) ill be online tackling my homework until i go to bed  
GG: have fun teaching your itty bitty eight-year-old student to play bachs minuet <3  
EB: one day i'm gonna sneak in the ghostbusters theme into these lessons, you know. one day!  
GG: heheh

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] \--

* * *

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

TT: Hey.  
TG: hey  
TG: you unblocked me  
TT: I'm not going to waste Pesterchum's final ragged breaths clinging to a grudge.  
TG: thats dope of you  
TG: so uh  
TG: sorry the worlds on fire and fucking terrible lately  
TT: I know. I got your letter.  
TT: Sorry for blaming you as if any one of us could have singlehandedly stopped this shitshow.  
TG: idk man maybe you were onto something maybe we missed our calling as the saviors of mankind  
TG: its a little late but if you ever need to lead a rebellion against the upcoming apocalypse you know ill be the first in your frontlines  
TT: Okay, but I want the glory of taking down the anti-Christ myself.  
TG: deal  
TG: does this mean youll share your username with me on discord or wherever were going next  
TT: I don't know, I might need more ass-kissing before I'll forgive you that thoroughly.  
TG: oh great and powerful oracle of cthulhu i am but a problematic douchebag who is unworthy of cowering in your awe inspiring presence  
TG: have i sung the praises of how totally dope your poetry is lately  
TT: Oh? What's your favorite poem of mine?  
TG: the one about darkness  
TT: Which one about darkness?  
TG: rose are you implying i didnt fuckin read your poetry  
TG: you know exactly which poem about darkness is the best one  
TT: Uh-huh.  
TT: How about you promise to keep your mouth shut when Jade or I tell you that you're being an ass?  
TG: consider it so done that you can turn it over and start cooking it on the other side already  
TT: And promise to vote in every local and national election for the next ten years and pick only from the legitimate candidates?  
TG: hey thats fair i can do that  
TT: On penalty of cleaning my bathroom with your tongue.  
TG: fuck you and the horse you rode in on  
TT: Fine, I actually don't need my friends to poison and humiliate themselves for my sake, even when they fuck up.  
TT: I'll pass along my next username once I create it.  
TT: So, we have a lot to catch up on, but I was actually on my way out the door when I got your package. I signed into Pesterchum because I guess I'm more sentimental than I let on, but I really need to run some errands already.  
TG: yeah i get ya  
TG: you wanna catch up on pesterchum later while we still have it or save the infodump for the next place we call home  
TT: You know what, I'll email you the gritty details of my life. Here on Pesterchum, let's just talk dumb shit like old, simpler times.  
TG: sounds legit  
TG: looking forward to our swan song of shitposting  
TT: You know it.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

* * *

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] \--

TT: Are all these "Pesterchum is being discontinued in [insert number here] days!" notifications trying to drag me down into a nostalgia-induced depression like John is suffering, do you think?  
GG: lol  
GG: i do not think pesterchum would be that nefarious  
GG: the daily reminder is getting a little annoying, but i guess they want to make sure no one misses the memo before they shut down this week  
TT: It's not exactly a secret.  
TT: My Facebook feed has had regular mentions of it from classmates reminiscing about their old Pesterchum days.  
GG: yeah mine too!! especially my older friends!  
GG: its a little depressing though because a lot of them express surprise that pesterchum is still around :\  
GG: they probably havent logged in for five years or more.....  
TT: Yeah. It's a welcome change of pace from all the posts on politics, but it doesn't exactly inspire joy either.  
TT: The majority of discussions are so slanted towards the assumption that none of us have logged in since middle school, I feel a bit like an outsider.  
GG: it sucks a little because theyre just laughing about the good old days while we are the ones actually losing something :(  
GG: rose, is it too silly to cry over the end of a software program?  
TT: You're crying?  
GG: nooooooo, but i am starting to feel enough emotions already that i cant promise i wont cry the closer we get to the end!  
GG: i think it would be the good kind of crying though  
GG: remembering all the fun we had chatting as kids you know?  
GG: meeting you and john and dave :)  
GG: and all the wacky friend shenanigans that pesterchum gave us a platform for  
GG: we will always be friends no matter what! but it will definitely feel different without pesterchum acting as a silent participant  
TT: Like the times we met in-person?  
GG: exactly!! that was great and fun and i cant wait to do it again but it was also kind of weird  
GG: a weird we can get used to though :)  
TT: It would be fun if we could live relatively close post-college. At least within driving distance.  
TT: Even if I'll have to kiss a theoretical life in France good-bye.  
GG: awww dont limit yourself to the usa for us!  
GG: i think we all want to leave at this point o__o  
TT: Well, I don't think Europe would have much use for a random American psychiatrist anyway.  
TT: If I marry a nice French woman though, I'll remember your kindness and flee the country as fast as I fucking can.  
TT: You'd all better visit me though.  
GG: of course!!! :D  
TT: It's getting late and I have class at eight.  
TT: Hopefully I'll run into you on Pesterchum again before it's gone forever, but if our schedules never match, I'll catch you on Discord.  
GG: yeah T_T  
GG: night night!! sleep well <3  
TT: See you, Jade.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] \--

* * *

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] \--

TG: welp captain  
TG: this ships going down any minute now  
TG: but ill see her to the bottom of the ocean with you  
TG: rapping a sick beat all the way down  
EB: i guess your dumb metaphor is apt for once.  
EB: i should probably turn off my computer for the night instead of waiting around, but...  
EB: it's kind of hard to sleep knowing i won't get to log in again.  
EB: you feeling that way too, dude?  
TG: nah i just figured youd be on so i showed up to give you company so youre at least not alone while you wallow  
TG: any idea when theyre actually shutting service off  
EB: nooo fucking clue. they just said it was "tomorrow." maybe at midnight?  
TG: yeah i can stay up that late to see this hunk of crap off to its grave  
TG: say a prayer for it and throw some dirt on top of the coffin  
TG: cry a single manly tear and march off into the sunset alone  
TG: unless pesterchum headquarters works off the alaska timezone  
TG: i mean this program is fuckin primitive enough its not impossible they keep the servers in an igloo  
TG: but in that case i gotta crash before we lose service because finals are a bitch and i need my fucking beauty sleep  
EB: i still can't believe that you of all people are taking college seriously.  
TG: hey im going to mooch off my bro for all hes fucking worth  
TG: and i cant ask him to pay tuition if i flunk out of school can i  
TG: the real question is why you settled for your dinky two year college instead of joining me in the big leagues  
EB: because i actually like my guardian and i don't want him paying through the nose so i can get a useless degree in music!  
TG: idk man hes still paying for the roof over your head either way  
EB: me living at home does not cost thirty grand a year! and i help pay the bills!  
TG: yeah i guess thats a legit living situation  
TG: maybe ill job search in the seattle area once im done here  
TG: thatll make up for our first choice of online communication giving up the ghost like the conkshittiest ghostbuster there ever was  
EB: oh, hell yes.  
EB: hell fucking yes.  
EB: we just gotta convince jade and rose that the west coast is where it's at.  
TG: damn right  
TG: man we could all pitch in to buy a house together  
TG: name it casa de pesterchum irl  
TG: greet each other at the breakfast table every morning with a sup asl??  
TG: asses will be laughed off on a daily basis  
TG: roses cat will feast on cheezburgers  
TG: every sunday we worship at the altar of rick astley and sing his holy hymn  
TG: and to top it all off

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] is offline! --

EB: well... bye.

\-- message was not sent! --

**Author's Note:**

> In loving memory of AIM, may it rest in peace. (Even if it did turn emoticons into emoji, which was terrible.)


End file.
